“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” … Ralph Marston

Not Feeling Appreciated?

We all experience times in our life when we do not feel appreciated. Have you ever wondered why we all like to be appreciated? What is it about appreciation that creates value in our life?

William James, well-known psychologist and philosopher, said,

 “The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.”  If we are honest with ourselves, we all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments.”

Viktor Frankl, the Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, who witnessed his family perish, found personal meaning by appreciating the reason to live.

The action of unappreciation, causes us to feel resentfulness and bitterness. It is unfortunate that life pulls us in many different directions, and we forget its importance. And of course, we might feel pain and other negative feelings. The truth is that the human spirit is greater than any possible event or situation. We can find true meaning by appreciating life’s blessings in ourselves and others.

Realizing That the Past was Perfect … Lessons Learned

I remember as a child, I always had a sense of appreciation. Each time an uncle or someone else gave me something no matter how small, you would see in my eyes a world of wonder.  I was very appreciative for what I received. Jumping up and down with much excitement appreciating the gift of receiving.  Later on, I started to focus on what I did not have. I felt that the more possessions I had the more I needed. I had equated appreciation owning materialism and possessions. Forgetting the golden nuggets of living and loving well brought a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness into my life.

We need to understand that above and beyond all that we seek to create, our ultimate life purpose. What’s important is to realize our own inner self-worth, security, happiness and fulfillment. What can we possibly gain by having all that we want materially? It only increases the illusion that we cannot be well without all that and we never have a chance to experience our true spiritual greatness. All of these external objects and situations will then only serve to increase our ignorance.

Therefore, as strange as it might seem, you can learn to appreciate more easily what you would love to enjoy. This happens when you also know that you can be worthy, safe and happy without it. You will be free from the need for external verification when you realize your own self-worth.

Those who need others to appreciate them have placed an obstacle to receiving external affirmation. The lesson to be learned is that you no longer need it in order to love yourself and others. The truth is that You can live happy and creative lives once this lesson has been learned. When you lose the dependency, the obstruction will dissipate and you will receive unlimited love, affirmation and even admiration.

The solution then is to upgrade your need for appreciation to a preference. A preference is something we want and so we give our energy to creating it, but we also know that we can be well without it. So, instead of a need, we transform this into a choice.  What we really want is to be at peace with others simply because we love and enjoy them. It is an illusion that we need others to appreciate us in order to feel worthy, secure or happy.

Blessed was that day when I realized that the most important thing in life was to become appreciative for what I had and whom I have become. These days, I am grateful for whatever life brings to me. Each Friday is a thanks-giving day for me. I’m truly grateful and I participate in a prayer for abundance and unity for all without a need for others to appreciate me.

Difficulty with Appreciation?

For those who have difficulty appreciating themselves or others it is important to know that appreciation and love initiate the Universal law of attraction. By feeling appreciation for what you already have, you are sending a message recognizing how blessed and how loved you are by the universe.

If however, we do not recognize or appreciate ourselves and others, then we are declaring that we do not feel blessed or loved by the universe.  The natural result would be to not attract what we need. Look at it this way: By not recognizing what others have given you, then you do not expect them to give you anything in the future. If you feel that they have given you much, then you fully expect that they will continue to do so.

The best course of action is to allow gratitude to fill your heart and honor life recognizing that there is good in all things. Appreciate the fact that you are a child of creation of your own destiny, your own master painter, artist and Gardener. Embark on life’s sacred journey, knowing that the universe always conspires for your best and highest good. Allow your heart to be filled with light, love and joy, sense the plenty and feel abundance. Be grateful for whatever God has given you and that will make YOU feel plenty.

EXPRESS Appreciation Without Expecting Anything in Return.

When we look for the good in people, we can make a difference in their life. It is equally important that we take the time to express our heart-felt appreciation for something that others have done for us. The expression of our good actions give us energy and motivation. This action also creates the motivation for others to work harder and do better.

By appreciating others with authenticity and sincerity, our relationships and values grow. When you see someone that does something to improve their life, or the lives of others, smile and participate in their happiness.

EXPRESS your appreciation without the expectation of anything in return. Give sincere compliments and make people feel valuable. Tell them that you are thankful, regardless of how important something is. Do little things for them with great love.

Look around you every day. Ask yourself, who is there to encourage you and support you in difficult times? It does not cost much to show appreciation to life and those around you.  Take a little time to express your appreciation with a sincere compliment. Write a small note, send a text, or simply give a warm and tender smile. Appreciation has a ripple effect and creates a better place for all of us.

The more we do this, the more it becomes a very powerful habit. This is a feeling that transforms our lives. By feeling appreciation for all that we have – even what is sometimes initially unpleasant – we are transformed into happy, beautiful beings. When we are happy and show our appreciation, we attract people. We are pleasant to be with and we are easier to love, because we love more easily.

God bless you,

Dimitri

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