SECURITY VERSUS ADVENTURE
“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.” -Joel Olsen
There is Writing on Your Wall
Our mind is a wonderful tool for thinking, but it also has a vulnerable area known us as the inner critic. Your inner critic gets its voice from something we call the writing on our walls. This writing is from your early childhood experiences. This is true for everyone! You must remember that those who wrote on your wall have also have been programmed down through generations. The others are only able to share with you what they believe, even if they are not your truths. Therefore, there is no Shame of Blame here!
Many of our previous childhood experiences are the roots of our pain and insecurities. They often create feelings of fear, threatening our peace and happiness. Or we feel inadequate, and this social anxiety influences our relationships, quality of life, work, effectiveness and well-being.
Any emotions you had at the time of the event, including any childhood conclusions you came to, are bundled and stored with your original memory of the experience. The mind consults the writing on your walls for every single experience you have in life. The mind looks for a matching template from long ago and you respond to life habitually based on these false past messages, and often without your awareness.
How Embracing Vulnerability Became One of my Greatest Strengths on the Road to Happiness.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.”…Brené Brown
Love is vulnerability. Happiness is vulnerability. The risk of being vulnerable is the price of opening yourself to beauty and opportunity. Vulnerability became one of my greatest strengths in life; being vulnerable is not about showing the parts of you that are polished; it’s about revealing the unpolished parts you would rather keep hidden from the world.
“It’s about looking out into the world with an honest, open heart and saying, “this is me. Take me or leave me.” …. Unknown
We are all vulnerable, no matter how we much we try to hide it or avoid it. In one way or another we try to conceal our emotional sensitivity and fragility and avoid showing our weaknesses or our emotional wounds to others.
CREATING AND MAINTAINING EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIPS.
In the Beginning
Early in relationships, we experience intense periods of closeness that are important in order to establish a new union. In the beginning, just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree. Budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward. The look to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, we need to continue turning towards one another recurrently. We need to do this with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturing as we did in the beginning. This is essential.
In our busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships. We think they will tend to themselves. We think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive. In a long-term relationship, it is often necessary to get back to basics. We need to come back to center or core of the relationship with each other.
Find the Once Comfortable Vehicle to Re-Connect
You may have been a partner who expressed your love through your ability to share your thoughts. You may have found yourself unable to use that once-comfortable vehicle to connect. You’ve attempted to stay rational, to just put one idea in front of the other and prioritize the outcome. You’ve found yourself mumbling out loud about conflicts and unsolvable problems. Of course, your partner wanted to help. He or she offered suggestions, helpful hints, and support but you are no longer there. Instead you are overwhelmed and stressed. Normally, you would have seen those offers as supportive. Now, you can’t trust any outside interference because it messes up your thinking which is already off balance.
One of the best ways to nourish any relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Avoid visiting past negative events and avoid the use of “you” statements. Instead focus on the positive, “I feel this way when that happens.” Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. It is important to express faith and confidence in each other and enjoy a shared vision of your golden years.
Step Up Your Vigilance …. Find the Middle Ground
Hyper-focusing on visual details over a long period of time wears out the psyche. Pretty soon the thing you fear the most will happen. You’ll forget something important and reinforce your need to step up your vigilance. That state of constant anxiety only makes the situation worse. Your partner will either try to anticipate your every move to avoid being stung, or will write you off as an impossible person who just cannot be satisfied. If you once loved that person without getting in your own way, you may actually realize that you’re losing ground and take a good look at your self-destruction.
We have all had the experience of realizing that something in our lives is not working. This knowledge can come as a sudden realization or a nagging feeling of doubt that grows stronger, waking us up to the fact that something needs to change. Some people have a tendency to act rashly and make sweeping changes before even understanding what the problem is. Other people fear change, so they live with the uncomfortable awareness that something needs to shift but won’t do anything about it. Between these two extreme responses lies a middle way that can help you powerfully and gracefully change what isn’t working in your life.
The first step is remembering that your life is made up of parts that belong to an interconnected whole. Changing one thing can change everything. Because of this, small changes often have a big effect. Sometimes much bigger changes are necessary, but the only way to know for sure is to take the time to really understand the problem.
Get on the Same Page …. Make an Intention Statement
When writing an intention statement together in full cooperation, as a couple, you might examine your lives as an entirety–your work, your relationships, where you live. What you would love to do in your golden years. And determine what specifically is not functioning the way you would like. Once you have discovered any problems, write them down on a piece of paper. For example, “I am not happy with the relationship” or “I don’t know what to do with my life after retirement.”
The next step is to figure out the adjustment you would like to make and how you can go about making this change. You may want to discuss these issues that you feel make you unhappy and come up with a compromise. Keep in mind however that nothing outside of yourself is responsible for your unhappiness…the change required is usually within. When you discover what makes you feel unhappy, it will point the way to changes that will make you happy. Writing down these truths can be a powerful catalyst for change.
Accept the Changes … Release the Past with Grace
The key to making changes that work is to accept the necessity of change as part of life. As you change, you may find it necessary to fine-tune your relationships, work, and future goals and aspirations. Keep in mind that your lives have energetic footprints, they are living, breathing entities that reflect your dynamic selves. As such when you remain open to change, you find that wonderful benefits result in the most likely ways.
The world is in a constant state of flux, and any established patterns you may have for how you live life, are subject to inevitable change. If you can stay upbeat in the face of these changes, you will realize that you are creating doorways for new realities to come into being.
You can watch with eager anticipation to see what life and the universe has in store for you. Keep your eyes open and be optimistic as changes occur around you today, and you will recognize each change as a blessing and a new opportunity for growth.
When you find yourself going through any kind of change in your life, your natural response may be to tense up on the physical, mental, or emotional level. You may not even notice that you have braced yourself against a shift until you recognize the anxiety, mood swings, or general worried feeling toward the unknown that usually results as you approach your retirement years.
Move Forward with Joyful Anticipation
There are positive ways to move through change without pushing it away or attempting to deny that it is happening. Since change will occur in almost every aspect of our lives, we can learn to make our response to it an affirmative one. One of anticipation, gentle curiosity, welcoming the new while releasing the past with grace.
One thing we can do is change our perspective by changing the labels we use to identify our feelings or to describe each other. We can reinterpret feelings of anxiety as the anxious butterflies that come with eager expectation and begin to look for the good that is on its way to us. Though we may only be able to imagine the possibilities, when we acknowledge that good is there for us to discover, we can focus our energy on joyful anticipation and bring it into our experience while allowing these feelings to carry us forward.
Sometimes the shift from denial to acceptance is all that is needed to ease our anxiety. It allows us to bring our memories with us as we move through nervousness. Now we can move to joyful excitement about the good to come.
Dedication to the relationship, moderation, compromise and patience are required in order to identify your goals, change and cooperation is required to manifest them. True love is selfless, without condition or expectation. In loving relationships each helps the other become the best version of themselves. This allows each individual the freedom to shine.
Blessings, Christina and Dimitrios
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Life NOT Working for YOU? … Time to Reset!
The Destiny of humanity is always about change. We must continue to evolve, grow and improve ourselves and the world around us until we become perfectly harmonious, beautiful and powerful beings. The force of evolution will never allow us to rest. When life is not working for you, you can ignore it for periods of time; but eventually life events and situations will force us to awaken and emerge from our slumber. There does come a time to Reset!
What Does it Really Mean to Win or Lose?
“Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.” … Denis Waitley
What is it that makes one to win and another to lose accepting defeat or failure? There are a lot of self-help books and self-help workshops that speak to us about self-esteem, self-confidence and personal growth. These are certainly useful tools, however without passion for life they may not be very helpful. Passion is the flame of our life and our daily fuel of energy. Passion is what allows us to live life to its limits, realizing that there are always plenty of opportunities for more creations. Winners have passion, courage and enormous natural capabilities that allow them to shift from the mind’s programming to the hearts’ cosmic capability and constantly keep shifting their energy to experience their goals more intimately and through awareness.
Forgiveness in Three Easy Steps
CR: There are three major components of forgiveness. First, it helps to remember you’re dreaming that the separation from God is real and that is the cause of the problem.
One of the most profound changes in my thinking along my own path was the ultimate and profound experience of accepting the concept that the mind projects everything. Not only does it project everything is also observes its own projection from a seemingly different point of view. Then it interprets that perception as an external fact.
Here are 7 “What If’s” to Shift to a New World!
Life is Based on what we believe. Some say life happens in cycles of 7. Perhaps a shift in our beliefs can also happen using the number 7.
When we look at the bigger picture in life it’s clear how the conditions that end one cycle can become the foundation that begins the next. It’s also clear that between the cycles is a space where neither is present. This is the moment of choice; a moment of opportunity.
What is BEAUTY?
“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.”
-Sophia Loren
“Remember that there are two kinds of beauty: one of the souls and the other of the body. That of the soul displays its radiance in intelligence, in chastity, in good conduct, in generosity, and in good breeding.”
― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Some people say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, an experience of something held inside of us as beautiful. Others say that beauty is something or someone that appeals to the eyes or the heart. Yet there are others, like Christina and I, that believe that something is beautiful because of its relationship with the environment. The way it forms or unfolds itself among its surrounding elements just like a radiant rose or a sunset.
Awakening and Ripening
Spring is the season for renewal, we all know that if we keep fruits and vegetables covered too long, they ferment and rot. Often, we follow this same pattern of nature, if we stay stuck in old plans, once who we are has matured and ripened, we can begin to spoil within.
Effective Communications… What is Active Listening?
Our communication can have many different effects such as stress levels, relationships with others, level of satisfaction with our life, productivity and ability to meet our goals and solve problems. There are two components to effectively communicate verbally. One is to become mindfully present with what you are saying and this also include how you say it; your tone, speech, pitch and volume any your non-verbal communication such as gestures, and body language. The method in which we share our message is as important as the message itself. The second component is to become an Active Listener. When actively listening to others we use the senses of the body, the feelings of the heart, the logic of the mind and the stillness of the soul. The practice of active listening, will make your interactions and communications with others more successful.
