Home Forums Love & Relationships How do I Get Over an Ex?

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    • #12256

      bella_emilia18

      Staff Member

      My first experience with love resulted from a kind of toxic relationship. I constantly find myself going back to the person, despite the fact he is not good for me. Friends and family see it; I see it.But ultimately I go back to him time and time again because I know he’ll always be there. As one can imagine, this has hindered me in finding other meaningful relationships. I want to move on. How do I finally move on and find a healthy relationship?

    • #12358

      Lena

      Member Coach

      “I go back to him… because he’ll always be there” This seems like an unfinished circle to me. Maybe you still have something to give to, and take from this relationship. On the other hand seems something going not as it should be. Consider the thing that makes you go back to him. Is it a need? Is it a fear? Is it some kind of insecurity? What are you provided by this relationship that your mind thinks you can’t find in others? This is something Written on your Walls and not so difficult to figure out and change. Search in the part of relationships. What have you been told by your parents, relatives, teachers, friends, that shows up time and time again, not allowing you to move on although you want to? Do you think you deserve a healthy relationship? Can you imagine it? Imagine you are grateful for what you already had but now you kindly wish to move on, so you take a scissors and cut the strings that keep you in this relationship, and you are moving to the one you like. Imagine the perfect one. How the guy is, how you treat him and how he treats you. Imagine details of your perfect relationship. Feel the emotions in your heard and let yourself fly towards your perfect relationship. Be sure that it’s on it’s way to you and let yourself enjoy the procedure till it’s done.
      Be well.

    • #12362

      bella_emilia18

      Staff Member

      Thank you so much Lena, your words brought tears to my eyes. This is definitely something I need to to ponder and meditate on.
      Much love.

    • #12364

      Christina Reeves

      Senior Advisor

      Hi Ladies,

      Hi Bella, I agree with Lena that this might still be an incomplete experience. It’s good to remember that we will continue to attract to us and be attracted to like energy. This is a law of physics, although some call it the law of attraction. There is something that you need to see or understand regarding why this happens Bella. Go back to the earliest memory of have of relationships, something between 0 and 7 years old and ask yourself what was it that you learned at that young age about relationships…were they good memories or dysfunctional ones. There is some belief you have adopted at this young age that is written on your wall that needs to be cleared. When you have healed this old childhood belief then your energy field will attract to you a new experience. We must become what it is we are seeking in the world. You might want to look in the arena of loving yourself more, feeling worthy and deserving of love. Hope this helps you. Please feel free to connect with us again if you have any questions, we are holding a loving space for you.

    • #12411

      Christina Reeves

      Senior Advisor

      Hi Emma,

      Great advise and tips too! Thanks for connecting to our Forum. Blessings and Love.

    • #12409

      Emma Vergara

      Community Member

      Hi Bella,

      Some really great advice here. I’d like to chime in with my perspective.

      Everything you ever experience in your life, no matter how devastating or seemingly hopeless is an opportunity for growth. It’s these experiences that lay the foundation for our relationships with others but mostly importantly, ourselves. It seems as if most of all, this is a valuable learning opportunity for you really fill your shoes and become more authentic in who you really are.

      What does that mean? It means identifying what your limiting beliefs are around relationships (As the first poster suggested) and choosing different beliefs (Yes, everything is a choice).

      75% of beliefs of the average adult were formed before the age of 5. You were born into the world, then by observing the relationships of your caregivers, overhearing conversations, being subject to terrible circumstance, your worldview changes, all before you even know what a belief is! It’s these beliefs that go on to shape your relationships and reality.

      I’d recommend the book ‘I Am Enough’ by Marissa Peer. She’s really amazing.

      A few things come to mind for your situation:

      The first is it feels like a karmic relationship. One you’ve carried over from a previous lifetime. Often we’re drawn towards people we’ve ‘been with’ before and the connection is inexplicable, even if it’s innately toxic. We create karma based on our choices and everything is a choice. Just because someone has a karmic relationship doesn’t mean they’re ‘destined’ for another lifetime together, but it means that the lessons from the previous relationship weren’t integrated and they’ve carried over into the next. You’re being presented with an opportunity to break that cycle.

      The second are the energetic implications within your own aura that tie you to him. I see this in my work all the time. Emotion and thought can become dense and create ‘form’ within the aura that sit there until it’s released. The problem is, most people don’t facilitate the release of those emotions, because to release them means ‘going through them’ and often, they’re simply too intense. So, those emotions are pacified by repressing, or by re-engaging in problematic relationships… Because to be with them, even if it’s toxic, is ‘better’ than to face, loss, the rawness grief, the fear of being alone, etc

      How do you release them? By allowing them to come out in whatever shape or form. Cry, shout, stomp, dance.

      Writing is a phenomenal way of releasing emotion. Write until the pen dries up or you have no more words left.

      I’d recommend that you find yourself a skilled healer who can remove those energies from your aura and cut any ties (chords) between you and him.

      I worked with a client recently who was devastated after the break down of his marriage and hadn’t been functioning since the split. By clearing the energy in his home, his energy field and by using special healing techniques that heal a broken heart, he’s said to me that he feels totally different, peaceful, content. He’s able to sleep soundly. He can speak with her and not break down afterwards. It’s really a blessing to have been able to do that for him.

      Moving on IS possible; it just takes a little discipline and a lot of self love.

      Let us know how you get on!

      Bless,
      Emma x

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