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I’d like to share an experience which was an awakening of my heart.
I’ve always been ‘in my head’. A very mental person. A deep thinker. But this contributed wildly to anxiety and over the years I really struggled with it.
I’d been seeing an incredible healer for a while, a soul healer. And she stressed the importance of ‘getting into my heart space’. It seemed like such an abstract concept at the time and it took me a few months to understand and begin to embody this concept.
One day I randomly came across a video project where a willing participant was followed and they had to voice their thoughts aloud as they walked down the street. He was mainly thinking about a difficult breakup and as he voiced his thoughts, I noticed there was a stark contrast between the speed and frequency of his thoughts, to mine. My ‘norm’ was to think thoughts at 100mph, racing in circles from one concept to the next and his were…infrequent. I knew something had to change.
A few days later I was reading a book which gave me a revelation of such magnitude (in relation to some fear based experiences) that I reached out to the author to thank him. I didn’t expect a response.
But he did… And with his response he gifted me with another of his books, which taught a healing meditation which moves you from your head, and into your heart. Divinely guided? Oh yes.
So I began the technique. Not solely meditating at a set time, but carrying my meditation practice with me throughout the day. Wherever I was, my thoughts were still and I embodied the space in the centre of my chest, the Heart Chakra.
A few weeks later, another event gave me another revelation; that I sought to make my world safe out of control, which is typical when the back heart-chakra is closed. When I realised this and suddenly released my control, my heart fully opened (front and back) and I spent the next 3 days in a pure state of unconditional love, for all people, all things.
I’d not experienced bliss like that before, but love poured out of my heart for everything around me.
Then, I realised… Of all things, humans seek connection above all else and not feeling connected with others drives them into a state of hopelessness. But, I realised that it’s not even necessary to have romance to experience love, because that love already exists within you.
It’s just a process of peeling back the layers of your conditioning and moving from your ‘head’ and into your ‘heart’. In my case, it was dedicated meditation practice and repeating to myself: “I AM love” “I AM love”.
Words are power. If you start repeating that to yourself, overtime you’ll start to feel and believe it… And say goodbye to loneliness forever.
Hi Bella,
Some really great advice here. I’d like to chime in with my perspective.
Everything you ever experience in your life, no matter how devastating or seemingly hopeless is an opportunity for growth. It’s these experiences that lay the foundation for our relationships with others but mostly importantly, ourselves. It seems as if most of all, this is a valuable learning opportunity for you really fill your shoes and become more authentic in who you really are.
What does that mean? It means identifying what your limiting beliefs are around relationships (As the first poster suggested) and choosing different beliefs (Yes, everything is a choice).
75% of beliefs of the average adult were formed before the age of 5. You were born into the world, then by observing the relationships of your caregivers, overhearing conversations, being subject to terrible circumstance, your worldview changes, all before you even know what a belief is! It’s these beliefs that go on to shape your relationships and reality.
I’d recommend the book ‘I Am Enough’ by Marissa Peer. She’s really amazing.
A few things come to mind for your situation:
The first is it feels like a karmic relationship. One you’ve carried over from a previous lifetime. Often we’re drawn towards people we’ve ‘been with’ before and the connection is inexplicable, even if it’s innately toxic. We create karma based on our choices and everything is a choice. Just because someone has a karmic relationship doesn’t mean they’re ‘destined’ for another lifetime together, but it means that the lessons from the previous relationship weren’t integrated and they’ve carried over into the next. You’re being presented with an opportunity to break that cycle.
The second are the energetic implications within your own aura that tie you to him. I see this in my work all the time. Emotion and thought can become dense and create ‘form’ within the aura that sit there until it’s released. The problem is, most people don’t facilitate the release of those emotions, because to release them means ‘going through them’ and often, they’re simply too intense. So, those emotions are pacified by repressing, or by re-engaging in problematic relationships… Because to be with them, even if it’s toxic, is ‘better’ than to face, loss, the rawness grief, the fear of being alone, etc
How do you release them? By allowing them to come out in whatever shape or form. Cry, shout, stomp, dance.
Writing is a phenomenal way of releasing emotion. Write until the pen dries up or you have no more words left.
I’d recommend that you find yourself a skilled healer who can remove those energies from your aura and cut any ties (chords) between you and him.
I worked with a client recently who was devastated after the break down of his marriage and hadn’t been functioning since the split. By clearing the energy in his home, his energy field and by using special healing techniques that heal a broken heart, he’s said to me that he feels totally different, peaceful, content. He’s able to sleep soundly. He can speak with her and not break down afterwards. It’s really a blessing to have been able to do that for him.
Moving on IS possible; it just takes a little discipline and a lot of self love.
Let us know how you get on!
Bless,
Emma x
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