… Is the Grass Greener on the Other Side?

NO, the truth is that we always take ourselves with us; even over the fence! Each of us create our own reality and we are all creating realities which offer us the most opportunities for personal growth.

For example, when we are unhappy, sometimes, we feel we would be happier living in a different place, in a different job, or a different relationship. Other times, we envy others for what they have or their good health or other life factors. The truth is that we are forgetting that we and they are the sole creators of our realities.

When living within our created reality, there is a distinction between who we are and our life changing experiences. For one, we need to realize that we are a constant immutable unchanging essence we call our Higher Self. It is this higher Self that pays witness to our life changing events and experiences. Even though, we create our reality, it is important to understand, that we are not the stories we tell ourselves. Our self-worth and security are not dependent on the aspects of our stories or how they change in our lives.  

Acceptance Leads to Change

It is by accepting our present life situation just as it is, that we are able to be at peace. Acceptance paves the way, leading us towards to happiness and contentment and sometimes our discontentment even encourages us to create change in our lives. Acceptance gifts us with freedom, and when we are freer, we can experience happiness even when the world around us is not was we believe it should be.

We all deserve to be happy, and this requires us to feel secure enough in our self-worth, safety and life purpose. Inner security allows us to drop the defense mechanisms of anger or rejection. When we feel secure, we do not need to protect ourselves with feelings of rejection or anger. For security, we can rely on faith, knowledge and love.

Accepting “what is” in difficult times, does not mean that we accept the situation as a final desired outcome. Instead, we need to accept it as a framework, perhaps, one which we are presently unable to understand. Rather than view it as a form of punishment, see it as a dynamic learning process. We have the opportunity to change the way we think, speak, act and behave. So, this allows us to create a reality more in alignment with that which seems kind, correct and ethical.

Here are Five Obstacles Towards Acceptance

 1. We have been programmed not to accept what we feel or believe is wrong. Most of us live in a society that does not encourage or even condone acceptance. We conform to what we have been taught. For example, we must reject and condemn what is not according to our beliefs and social norms. Perhaps it is considered wrong or a form of betrayal to accept those who we feel have harmed us. Sometimes, we put betrayal and rejection upon ourselves as a punishment for what we consider to be wrong. The better way is, understanding, forgiveness and love, but even they are often considered weakness.

 2. Often, we are afraid that if we accept our situations, ourselves and others as we are, that we or they will have no motive to improve or correct the situation. This is not a workable solution. Realistically, it is unintelligent to expect that if we have not gotten results with rejection of what is that we would get different results by continuing to do so. After all, we are all beings in an evolution process.

Example: Imagine a painting. Would rejecting a half-finished painting help it to become completed? Is it worthy of rejection because it is not complete? NO. It is in a process of completion and acceptable at each stage of that process. We need acceptance to feel that it is safe to change. It is better to lovingly accept our self, our situation and others by holding a loving space in that completion process.

3. Perhaps, we have a false belief that something or someone must be right and something or someone must be wrong. If we accept a certain behavior or situation that is not as we believe that it should be, then it feels as though we are wrong. And most of us don’t like to be wrong! However, we can accept “what is” without being right about how we believe things should be. Of course, we will never want to ignore our own moral conscience. However, we can understand that others may have different perceptions and we can let go of needing others to function according to our own needs.

 4. The illusion that we are more worthy when we find fault in others. This obstacle indicates that we are basing our self-worth on the false perception that the more faults we can find in others, the more worthy we are. This is a lack of self acceptance and is a major cause of our tendency to reject others. The less accepting we are of our selves, the less we accept others. The more guilt and shame we feel, the greater our need to find fault in others.

We tend to feel falsely comforted by the fact that the others are also not worthy. Many of us also condemn ourselves. Some do both.

5. A more subtle obstacle towards acceptance, is that the others remind us of a part of ourselves that we are in conflict with. This might be a part of ourselves that we cannot accept. Our own inner conflict creates the mechanism of rejection. Many of us also reject others when the others do what we suppress ourselves from doing. We tend to reject whatever we fear, what we do not understand or when we have opposite beliefs. Rejection is a defense mechanism towards whatever might be different, opposite or threatening. Our own self worth has nothing to do with how many faults we find in others or how wrong they are. Nor do we need to find fault in ourselves.

Accepting Others and Accepting Ourselves are Directly Related

Accepting others and our selves and where we are in life in our present state of evolution is the first step in creating the peaceful loving environment, we all desire.

When we feel secure, we can accept others different perceptions and we can create new ways of seeing and approaching our own life. Security comes when we realize that none of what we believe can actually approach the truth of who we are, which is beyond all beliefs.

As an Energy Psychologist and EFT practitioner, I come across the issue of acceptance often in my practice of guiding others. It’s interesting to note that removing all energetic blocks to acceptance always includes accepting our present moment situations. The energy techniques and processes used to clear the obstacles also include accepting our emotions, accepting ourselves while feeling those emotions and to accept letting go of those emotions and the stories we cling to that created them. Accept what is … Let go and let LOVE lead the way!

… Love and Light Christina