“The way to do whatever you want to do already exists. You just need to tune into it.”

If you are going to change your habits and your beliefs, you’re going to have to do it where they reside, in the subconscious mind. Until we relay the order to our subconscious mind, nothing will happen. Setting goals is a conscious exercise; achieving goals is a subconscious exercise. So, why do we set goals and don’t reach them?  It is because 95% of all your behaviors and perceptions are automatic, and you need to tune in!

“The Antenna” is my metaphorical name for the part of our brains called the Reticular Formation, sometimes known as the RAS. It is a marble sized piece of “grey matter” that is responsible for filtering the massive amount of sensory input. It has a way of bringing to our awareness only that part which we deem important. This antenna is a gift that we usually take for granted. Fortunately, the appropriate use of affirmations, goals and daydreaming serves to orient our Antenna so that we begin to “tune in.”

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The difference between an ordinary life and an extraordinary life is only a matter of perspective. Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go, they merely determine where you can start.

Change can enter our lives silently and this change can be just as important as change we have worked hard for. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to find that change has happened, seemingly without us. This can feel like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does seem to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more.

We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened by way of grace.  This doesn’t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change—they do. It’s just that they are one small part of the picture that finally results in the softening of our hearts.

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Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute….  George Bernard Shaw

Do you view the glass as half empty, or half full? Or have we got the glass-half-full metaphor all wrong?

Our Perception is a Matter of Perspective.

We were taught that pessimists see the glass as half-empty while optimists see it as half-full. Perhaps it has more to do with what YOU DO than how you see the glass. For example: does thinking positively make us healthier? Or is it that being healthier leads us to think positively?

We all have ‘sunnier’ days in which we wear the rosy and bright glasses, and ‘rainier’ days when the world is seen through the gray and dark glasses. Some people, have a consistent tendency to think, feel and behave, in a way that is unbalanced and inclined toward one of the extremes on the optimism-pessimism continuum.

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“Your most precious, valued possessions and your greatest powers are invisible and intangible. No one can take them. You, and you alone, can give them.”…. W. Clement Stone

DS: I have been pondering the concept of value and validation. For example, why do we allow others to tell us who we are or live in accordance to their standards. I truly believe that we don’t need anyone to tell us, who we are. There is no need to base our value on how much we make, how big our home is compared to others or how important we are.

Our true value is based solely how we live our life with authenticity and how we embrace our inner self. Awareness, consciousness and emotional intelligence can empower us to live our values independent of what others think.

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CR: I’ve been pondering desire, its essence and its forms. There are positive, the negative and the natural everlasting state of perpetual desire. I think the concepts of desire deserve more than a passing glance. It’s worth contemplating where there is value in desire and different degrees and flavors.

One aspect of desire is that it is instinctive and natural. When we look around at nature, we can see that for survival. All living things, desire food, water, rest and reproduction. Human desire is often criticized when it comes to ones that are connected to expectations, attachments, addictions.

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Corinthians 13

“If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing…….. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Let us listen to the words of Eric Pevernagie: “Love can crystallize things. When love is in the air, distressing rain can become a wonderful avalanche of shimmering diamonds. Raindrops are transformed into a flood of sparkling crystal pearls. The power of love can convert rain into a multitude of glittering prisms. The mental seduction of love and a boundless illusion, inflamed by a profound uprising emotion, can change any ordinary incident into a radiant, luminous voyage.”

DS: For some time now, and like many others, I have been pondering on the meaning of love and although love is not easy to define, it is our biggest and greatest investment on Earth. Our desire to love and be loved is deeply imprinted within us. The only way to experience love, is by loving one’s self. This is what is known as “becoming love.” It is about keeping our hearts open for loving others and life itself. Christina, during some difficult moments, I have heard you say, “What would love do now?” And my question to you is, “Why Choose love and how does it benefit each situation?”

Choosing Love

CR: Conscious love is the highest quality of love. It is a level of love whereby you have found that sacred place you speak of within yourself and then you become this love. You are a statement of that love and every action is not consciously designed to assert your love by saying you love everyone and everyone must love you. You have become love and have no need for anyone to love you.

You will experience a feeling of being in tune with the Universe energy of love. Look at it this way, you are not actively loving, but you are “in” love; living within the space of conscious love, which is Christ love. For me that’s what love is all about. To become this higher love, you will need to shift within you whatever it is that keeps you from being love.

Dimitri, yes, I have learned to ask this question, “What would love do now?” whenever I feel blindsided by an experience I was not expecting or confused as to how to respond. Choosing this one action allows love to mature emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It enables us to achieve higher levels of consciousness, spiritual perception and energy. It allows love an open space to express itself, and gives us the energy to free ourselves from attachments and habits that obstruct our energy and love. I have found that rather than being reactive, this one choice also seems to inspire others to do the same. It brings us peace, because we experience harmony with our conscience and highest ideals. We feel good about ourselves and our lives. It makes us wiser and stronger on all levels.

Experiencing Love

DS: I totally agree with you dear friend. Choosing conscious love begins by loving ourselves. If you want to achieve it, just try to be right here, open, honest, straight. Take everything that happens to you and use it in relation to your awakening to LOVE. And when you go about your day, take in the feelings in your body, the lights, the walking on the cement, the water, or whatever is around you take it all in, in love. There is no need to worship the feelings of love and no need to run from them either. Acknowledge them, allow them, they are all a part of the dance.

I remember a number of experiences that brought me closer to the essence of conscious love.

A couple of years ago I was dealing with some major challenges and during that time I found myself surrounded by the beauty and magnificence of a Lake. While reflecting on the lakes water and surroundings, I felt a deep need towards loving, accepting myself and my inner feelings, forgiving my past actions and moving forward.

A few years later, I recall a second heartfelt memory that remains forever engraved in my heart. Again, it was next to a lake that I experienced a deeper sense of love’s presence. I started to live in a vibrational field of true love that was flowing permeating everything. It felt like a different state of being…  beyond the mind, from heart to soul. My love was no longer contained within me but begun to flow out and change the immediate environment, the cosmos and the Universe. This experience opened me up to Universal Conscious Love and gave me the opportunity for further growth. It was a moment full of fascination, enthusiasm, passion and the energy of love that became an experience of complete freedom, fulfillment and abundance.

The Power is to Love with Intelligence

CR: Yes, my friend, this is a great topic to explore, thanks for bringing it on! This higher love you speak of can only flow from wisdom and strength. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life – and one I wished I had learned in my twenties or thirties is that Love is an emotion and Wisdom is the antithesis of emotion. Whereas love can be foolish and blind, wisdom is intelligent, clear-eyed, and directed. Love simply happens; but wisdom is gained through experiences that lead us to a much deeper understanding of love.

When love is guided by knowledge, we are not led down blind alleys by emotion.  Wisdom and love could not be farther apart, which means they cannot be one in the same.  The fact is that love and wisdom are related – very closely related. The heart can and does inform logic. It can make us wiser. It is our refusal to let our emotions run wild. We can create peace in our lives regardless of what’s happening in our experiences.  Simply loving for loves sake our lives become much more peaceful and rewarding.

DS: I agree! Love has everything in life and we need to get this right. We need to realize that love is the most powerful thing that we have. By cultivating the higher energy of love, we can change any experience. Imagine that Love creates a vortex of purpose that allows positive energy to flow to everyone. The reality is, we’re here to grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When growth stops, we automatically feel like something’s gone wrong. Because it has. Without growth, we aren’t fulfilling our soul’s purpose.

Love is a practice of acceptance, being in the present moment and reaching out into vulnerable territory. What it is NOT is a destination. I see it as a journey, an exploration. Christina, my response to the question of “What would love do now?”, is that the answer will be different every time and because of this we will all grow in ways we never have before.

Love thrives within its own space. The magic of living and loving is found in our own garden of love. This sacred place gives birth to our own perfect nature and becomes an embodiment of love. The path of Love leads you from the outer vision of physical beauty toward the inner vision of expanded, contemplative insight. It conquers, endures, becomes boundless. Love’s transcendent power raises our soul to divine awareness. I consider love to be the offspring of spiritual affinity and our heart’s true commitment to the Universe.

There is nothing higher, nothing more beautiful, than love and it is worth all sacrifices and illusions. LOVE allows us to experience our higher self. No amount of knowledge, wisdom or discipline opens the door to higher levels of consciousness, peace and happiness as easily as love.

Blessings of love, Christina and Dimitri

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The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. Fear is the mother of all emotions.

How many times have you felt yourself shrink, sometimes small enough to fit into some role? For example, YOU might have kept your mouth shut when you wanted to speak out.  Perhaps you handed over your power to someone who didn’t have your best interests at heart. Have you told yourself, “I can’t? I’m not strong enough? I’m not courageous or confident enough? I’m not smart enough?

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“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” … Ralph Marston

Not Feeling Appreciated?

We all experience times in our life when we do not feel appreciated. Have you ever wondered why we all like to be appreciated? What is it about appreciation that creates value in our life?

William James, well-known psychologist and philosopher, said,

 “The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.”  If we are honest with ourselves, we all want and need to feel valued for who we are and recognized for our contributions and accomplishments.”

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In the Beginning

Early in relationships, we experience intense periods of closeness that are important in order to establish a new union. In the beginning, just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree.  Budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward. The look to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, we need to continue turning towards one another recurrently.  We need to do this with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturing as we did in the beginning. This is essential.

In our busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships. We think they will tend to themselves. We think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive. In a long-term relationship, it is often necessary to get back to basics. We need to come back to center or core of the relationship with each other.

Find the Once Comfortable Vehicle to Re-Connect

You may have been a partner who expressed your love through your ability to share your thoughts. You may have found yourself unable to use that once-comfortable vehicle to connect. You’ve attempted to stay rational, to just put one idea in front of the other and prioritize the outcome. You’ve found yourself mumbling out loud about conflicts and unsolvable problems. Of course, your partner wanted to help. He or she offered suggestions, helpful hints, and support but you are no longer there. Instead you are overwhelmed and stressed. Normally, you would have seen those offers as supportive. Now, you can’t trust any outside interference because it messes up your thinking which is already off balance.

One of the best ways to nourish any relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Avoid visiting past negative events and avoid the use of “you” statements. Instead focus on the positive, “I feel this way when that happens.” Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. It is important to express faith and confidence in each other and enjoy a shared vision of your golden years.

Step Up Your Vigilance …. Find the Middle Ground

Hyper-focusing on visual details over a long period of time wears out the psyche. Pretty soon the thing you fear the most will happen. You’ll forget something important and reinforce your need to step up your vigilance. That state of constant anxiety only makes the situation worse. Your partner will either try to anticipate your every move to avoid being stung, or will write you off as an impossible person who just cannot be satisfied. If you once loved that person without getting in your own way, you may actually realize that you’re losing ground and take a good look at your self-destruction.

We have all had the experience of realizing that something in our lives is not working. This knowledge can come as a sudden realization or a nagging feeling of doubt that grows stronger, waking us up to the fact that something needs to change. Some people have a tendency to act rashly and make sweeping changes before even understanding what the problem is. Other people fear change, so they live with the uncomfortable awareness that something needs to shift but won’t do anything about it. Between these two extreme responses lies a middle way that can help you powerfully and gracefully change what isn’t working in your life.

The first step is remembering that your life is made up of parts that belong to an interconnected whole. Changing one thing can change everything. Because of this, small changes often have a big effect. Sometimes much bigger changes are necessary, but the only way to know for sure is to take the time to really understand the problem.

Get on the Same Page …. Make an Intention Statement

When writing an intention statement together in full cooperation, as a couple, you might examine your lives as an entirety–your work, your relationships, where you live.  What you would love to do in your golden years.  And determine what specifically is not functioning the way you would like. Once you have discovered any problems, write them down on a piece of paper. For example, “I am not happy with the relationship” or “I don’t know what to do with my life after retirement.”

The next step is to figure out the adjustment you would like to make and how you can go about making this change. You may want to discuss these issues that you feel make you unhappy and come up with a compromise. Keep in mind however that nothing outside of yourself is responsible for your unhappiness…the change required is usually within. When you discover what makes you feel unhappy, it will point the way to changes that will make you happy.  Writing down these truths can be a powerful catalyst for change.

 Accept the Changes … Release the Past with Grace

The key to making changes that work is to accept the necessity of change as part of life. As you change, you may find it necessary to fine-tune your relationships, work, and future goals and aspirations.  Keep in mind that your lives have energetic footprints, they are living, breathing entities that reflect your dynamic selves. As such when you remain open to change, you find that wonderful benefits result in the most likely ways.

The world is in a constant state of flux, and any established patterns you may have for how you live life, are subject to inevitable change. If you can stay upbeat in the face of these changes, you will realize that you are creating doorways for new realities to come into being.

You can watch with eager anticipation to see what life and the universe has in store for you. Keep your eyes open and be optimistic as changes occur around you today, and you will recognize each change as a blessing and a new opportunity for growth.

When you find yourself going through any kind of change in your life, your natural response may be to tense up on the physical, mental, or emotional level. You may not even notice that you have braced yourself against a shift until you recognize the anxiety, mood swings, or general worried feeling toward the unknown that usually results as you approach your retirement years.

Move Forward with Joyful Anticipation

There are positive ways to move through change without pushing it away or attempting to deny that it is happening. Since change will occur in almost every aspect of our lives, we can learn to make our response to it an affirmative one.  One of anticipation, gentle curiosity, welcoming the new while releasing the past with grace.

One thing we can do is change our perspective by changing the labels we use to identify our feelings or to describe each other. We can reinterpret feelings of anxiety as the anxious butterflies that come with eager expectation and begin to look for the good that is on its way to us. Though we may only be able to imagine the possibilities, when we acknowledge that good is there for us to discover, we can focus our energy on joyful anticipation and bring it into our experience while allowing these feelings to carry us forward.

Sometimes the shift from denial to acceptance is all that is needed to ease our anxiety. It allows us to bring our memories with us as we move through nervousness. Now we can move to joyful excitement about the good to come.

Dedication to the relationship, moderation, compromise and patience are required in order to identify your goals, change and cooperation is required to manifest them.  True love is selfless, without condition or expectation. In loving relationships each helps the other become the best version of themselves.  This allows each individual the freedom to shine.

Blessings, Christina and Dimitrios

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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
… 1 Corinthians 13 4-8

Love with Enthusiasm and Fascination

When you are able to love at the deepest and yet the higher levels, this love creates an atmosphere of energy that can transform your life.  Extraordinary amounts of love begin to flow to you, through you and outward towards others around you. You become this love; a source of holy love that conquers and becomes boundless. You will find that this love is like a beautiful colorful painting. The work of art depicts the essence of Peace, Joy and Abundance creating a sacred space. A place where love and beauty thrive and opens hearts to the splendor and mystery of true love.

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